google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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