You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
