My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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