You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
