I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
