all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
