Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
