my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
