Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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