I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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