He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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