They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
