and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
