You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
