I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
