he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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