Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
