Betty ford says i'm here all night
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
