No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
