She is in my trunk
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
