TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
