Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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