You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
