some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
