I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
