is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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