Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
