i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
