he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
