so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize