Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
