I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
