My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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