matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
too bad you live with your parents still
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
