You're my little dorito
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
