like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
