i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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