Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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