i just had sex bonerless
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
