my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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