Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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