I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
