New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
