I cockslap morals
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
