I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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