who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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