PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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