I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
