I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
