I think scott just propositioned me for sex
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
