And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
