but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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