Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
