Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize