so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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