did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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