we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
