Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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