just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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