You just made me feel so damn special
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
