Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
