There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
