just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
