best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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