Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
