perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
