Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
